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Sep. 12th, 2006 @ 11:31 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: oh god
its not fare is it?...i used to think that all you had to do was be a good person in life, and good things would come to you, that every time you get kicked down, it was just a test. something to keep you on your toes, but you would get whats comeing to you because you ARE a GOOD person. that all you had to do was just try your best and that was all everyone would ask of you. that if your nice to others they will in turn treat you the same way. but the world is not so kind. i tryed so hard, i gave it everything. why wasnt it good enough, why can everyone else do it so easyly.








ill just have to keep tring, for no one else but me
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Aug. 17th, 2006 @ 01:17 am (no subject)
Current Mood: slanted mouth
the summer breezes are leaving use, the calm chill sweet smelling winds are starting to take there place, and im finding very little time of my own. i guess its growing up. we had are house warming party. and if that party use just the start, then this semester might kill me. portland is going to be the place to be this year, i have a huge and awsome apartment(FINALY), all my friends live in portland, im living with two of my best frineds, and if i ever miss the buckfield crew its just a short bus ride up north....and 40 dollars....ok so me not haveing a car kind of bits. but if i think about it, i dont really need a car....but i miss it
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Aug. 8th, 2006 @ 06:50 am (no subject)
quick list to catch up.


cherlys birthday party was awsome
john and luke got along swimmingly
luke really killed the dinasour cut out filled with candy
i got drunk
we swam
i was attacked by foam tubes of death
pet glove
i got high
carla was silly
and we all had a great time

other news

my car is gone
i have an apartment on st john st
school is soon
i hvae to ride my bike alot
are apartment is a party apartment
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Jul. 30th, 2006 @ 11:02 am FINALY! A PARTY!
Current Mood: just fine
last night was fun as hell. john picked me up and we met sara at rubeys. then it was off to hannaford for beer. then we drove for ever and met the rest of the party at the beach. we were going to have a fire so they brought wood. so as im watching these 3 very blonde girls take each log (of which there was 6) out of the car one by one, when it was very clear that the logs where on a trap. so i walked over and said why dont you just use the trap(as a joke, thinking they would have already thought of that) they stoped looked at me and where like "omg your so smart, im blonde"so yes, then fire. then drinking, then smokeing, then gorila?....yes ...yes thats a gorilla...and drunk john is fighting it. no im not kiding. a dude in a gorilla suit came to the fire. and john fought him....becuase he's john. a long with the gorilla we must have had like 15 people stop off at are fire and talk and drink with use. getting home was a little on the troubling side. me being me, i wanted no one to drive. but we werent all goign to sleep on the beach. so the tree people that hadnt drank that much drove. i was scared the whole way home. but im alive...so .....awosme night
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Jul. 26th, 2006 @ 10:42 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: i am wasted but im ready!
today i made the besy hummus the world has ever known.......sex reminds her of eating spagitti....what?
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Jul. 23rd, 2006 @ 09:04 am (no subject)
to be honest with you all....writeing down my day to day life and talking about how happy/unhappy i am all the time...seems a bit high horsest. so im not really going to use this anymore.


random thoughts

fuck windows, FIN, dont make fun of them they can hear you, cod salad or cabob, 6 stories of lame.
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Jul. 9th, 2006 @ 02:10 pm (no subject)
so, life is still moveing on. my zombie movie is half way done, and im very close to haveing my own place with jen and john. cheryl is a much larger part of my summer then i thought she would be. and its awsome!
drama still insues be hide every corner, but im working through all of it and most often then not i come out on top.

after my fake date with alex to make his old boyfrined jealious he wont leave me alone, but i dont mind. its funny watching him try to get in my pants...although at time i wish he would leave me alone for two seconds. i got asked to dance at the wedding last night and the girl had red hair so i couldnt say no. her name was rose and she was one of the brides maids... oh and she was totaly hot. i got a kiss with no tonge and a screen name. i dont think ill try to contact her for she lives in camdon and just broke up with her boyfrined...........PEACE!
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Jun. 29th, 2006 @ 03:13 pm chill steve
Current Mood: ill be better soon im sure
Current Music: random medical facts
oops....spoke to soon.

with good comes bad and with bad come good. so hopefully things will start to look up by the end of today. till then, ill just hang with tashina, she should make things better.
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Jun. 28th, 2006 @ 03:21 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: words cant say
so yesterday was awsome.

me john and jen hung out allday. we played frisbee in his drive way, ate a huge pile of nachos, watched movies, made fun of shauna and her lack of sex, and then at 1am drove to old orcharde beach with the top off the tracker. we sang into the rushing wind and moto surfed. at the beach we undressed to just are underware and went swimming in the near-artic water.



and this is just the start of my life with john and jen. i may have made some bad diccions at the beging of the summer. but for once in my life i feel like on the right track. and that everyhting is goign to be just great
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Jun. 23rd, 2006 @ 09:36 am (no subject)
THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS THINK HAPPY THOGUHTS

some day ill figure it out.
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Jun. 18th, 2006 @ 12:31 am hate me. please
Current Mood: cold....
when times of hardship find us. we can only look on the bright side. no matter how dim it may be.





im not goign to say im sorry for what i did.
but i will say im sorry for doing it to you
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Jun. 17th, 2006 @ 12:47 am oh no........THAT feelings back
wouldnt it just make more sense to wake up at midnight...that is the start of the new day isnt it....so...why do we sleep for like 6, 7 even 16 hours into the day?
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Jun. 8th, 2006 @ 11:28 am (no subject)
Current Mood: how could i not be happy?
thinks are ok, a littel tight when it comes to the money, but im sure thats something that will pass soon enough. the rain is just driveing me crazy. i would love to walk some where and not be wet as i do it. my car smells like mildew and i always feel cold and wet.

i went home sunday, had shit loads of fun with the guys. then i went to camp and my 5 minute visit turned into an over night adventure. met some cool new people and very amazing new female staff...the year im not coming back....motherfucker. we drank alot and talked about all the good times. it was super coooooool. they want me to come back and cook for a day. i think i could do that. proper hardcore.

last week i got cought in that super rain storm where it rained 3 inches in like 30 minutes, i was with kacy, and jon. we got so wet so fast that it was no use trying to get out of it. so we just danced in it. andyelled and laughed all are cares away, standing in the warm rain and splashing in puddels, in that moment we were infinate.
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May. 30th, 2006 @ 12:41 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: hmmm, outside is good
Current Music: dont know what your talking about steve
this summer is barley under way and already im overwhelmed with all the shit thats going. i just want things to be a set way at work, but shit just keeps coming up. its very inritating. this past weekend i have learned many fun facts about the world we live in, and the things that grow around use. the beach has become my playground, i dance and play on it as if it was my own. i love this place at night. jon's apartment has become the chillest place in the world. but with the good comes the bad. my car is broke and i have no way of getting back to see my frineds that i swore i would hangout with...but i cant. and "some" poeple have not even tried to contact me. and they will remain nameless. i wish more of my frineds had working cars. i realised the other day that poison comes in many forms, some of these forms are poeple. just people that are bad for you. and alot of the time the person doesnt know there being poisoned. like me. but i know now. anyway, im hopeing to work so much these next couple of weeks that i can buy a bike...or a vespa, which i REALLY REALLY want....so much for budda...oh ya. i had a dream a few nights ago that i was to become the next budda. the budda came and talked to me on willard beach and told me i was to become the next budda(no mean comments from you john)it was wierd...but yeah. i never know what to write anymore. so im goignto end it here.








or right here
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May. 24th, 2006 @ 11:50 pm sometimes you just have to change.....or you will always be alone
Current Mood: ......
your slipping away... im slipping away... you know its happening, you know why its happening... your the only thing that has to change to fix it all. everything will fix its self, ppl will stop leaveing, frineds will come back(some), you will stop crying every night...you know how to fix it...you just need to do it.







if you dont, there nothign more i can do to help you
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May. 24th, 2006 @ 03:12 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: yeah, its cool
Current Music: johhny cash
so yesterday started out with this plan and this plan alone.


THE PLAN.
wake up
eat fruit loops
watch simpsons.

it was cool to have all i had planned for the day done befor 12 in the afternoon.
but the universe wasnt about to let me off that easily....
i went over to jakes place and played giutar hero. then jon came over and we went into the old port, went to the pier and then almost went to willard beach, but jon had grande practice. so me and jake chilled at jons appartment with out him... it was kind of wierd. so i wanted to do something nice for jon, jake and kacy so i set out to buy some food to cook and only spending 7 dollars. but when i got to my car a tow truck was there.......yeah....bummer.
but i was really nice about it because what was blowing up at the guy going to do, most likely cause him to take less care in hadleing my car and make his day bad or worse. he felt really bad that i had to see him tow away my car, but i kept telling him it was ok because it was his job to do so. he wasnt doing it to be a dick, its just how he makes a liveing and feeds him self and others. so as i was about to walk away he cut me a deal. instead of him towing away my car and me haveing to pay 85 dollars for the towing fee he would take me down to the cort house where i could pay for the tickets and then give him the 65 dollar towing fee. which saves me money. so we went down there and joked the hole way, then i remebered i only have enough money to pay for the tickets not the towing fee. but he was nice once again. he payed the towing fee for me and took my name and number and told me to call him on thrusday when i can payed so i could pay him back...all because i was calm and was nice to them, and in exchange i got to save money, get my car, not have to pay a cab to drive me down to tow place and i met a really nice guy. moral...chill steve.

then i went to jake and told him of my tale, and how i didnt have any money to buy the food for the night. but he had a 20 dollar gift cerificate to portland public market and all tha stuff i needed was there.. but it closed at 7...and it was 6:43....so we ran and drove like the devil. got the food and cooked it, watched pulp fiction and relaxed.....it was a really cool day.
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May. 22nd, 2006 @ 11:33 am it must be summer, because the days are long.
well. im moved into surf side, i have very bad luck with roomates i always seem to get the crazy ones, im going to be doing alot of nothing but alot of something so you should vistit me some time "insert name here"

my car made the drive to portland but i dout it will make it back out of portland anytime soon. hopefully i will be buying a bike soon so i can stop driveing that insanely loud car of doom.

i hope monet wont be sad when i tell her i cant make it to her graduation.


im at 158 now, the internet got shut off in the dorms so i have to use this internet.

oh fuck im out of things to say.... i hate this thing
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May. 15th, 2006 @ 10:49 pm happy now? i finaly wrote one ALL FOR YOU.
i know a girl who gets on every bodys nerves, every bodys nerves, every bodys nerves, i know a girl who gets on every bodys nerves, and her name is cheryl POWEEEEEERSSSSSSAH...arent jokes funnyer when there true
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May. 13th, 2006 @ 08:38 am (no subject)
hmmm, college. yeah this year was rad.


i did everything i wanted to in college. and more...WAY MORE.
this summer should prove to me interesting, so i really cant wait till im liveing in portland again. also this summer im not going to be vistiting anyone that doesnt vistit me first.
also, im in orono, i played a drum by a river, i climbed on a roof, i made grilled cheese, i met some ppl. but with this came a cost, like the muffeler on my car being not really there and a hangover and i smell like cherlys plaster riden bed....its cool though
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May. 9th, 2006 @ 09:12 pm ATTENTION WORLD
i will AT ANY TIME cook for you or any kind of function you want at a maxumum of 300 ppl. but. my rate is 12 dollars an hour. (9 an hour for REALLY GOOD FRINEDS) You give me the raw product and i will make you orgasum with food delite....your welcome











EGO AT MXIMUM CAPACITY....PREPARE FOR OVERLOAD IN T-10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,.....
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